Once I met Joe Walker at LeakyCon... and he asked me if he had razor burn.

THE SCARF OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
{ Team StarKid }

 

ghost-hooves:

thespacegoat:

the fact women are viewed as being more sexy at 15 than 40 is the creepiest thing in the world

when i was 12 years old my health teacher told us all that he thought girls were the most beautiful at age 14-15 and we would never be that beautiful again for the rest of our lives
back then it scared me that i wouldnt stay pretty
once i got older it scared me that he found no shame in saying that, and neither do countless other men

unfollower:

i ordered pizza and i was like ‘hey sorry you have to work on thanksgiving’ to the delivery girl and she was like ‘i feel worse for the person ordering pizza on thanksgiving’ ouch

quincy360:

you know that unexplainable sickish feeling where youre not really sick and you dont really have a headache but you just feel wrong and you cant get comfortable or find something that youre really into but you kinda feel too ill to sleep or eat its like your body saying “i dont know what i want you to do but this isnt it”

conspicuouslad:

I read every one of these to my wife until she screamed at me to shut up.

(Source: iraffiruse)

fake-mermaid:

do you ever wash your face with cold water and feel like your life has changed dramatically

(Source: fake-mermaid)

clannyphantom:

im excited for this generation of tumblr based teenagers to become parents because i think they will be aware and educated on all sorts of things like gender identity and mental illnesses and such but im also afraid of enrolling my kid into a kindergarten class full of Destials and Johnlocks

sherlockhoelmes:

studies show there’s a 100% chance of sex if u send these to your crush on valentine’s day trust me i’m a scientist

(Source: xaviary)

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

(Source: iraffiruse)

pokemean:

youngharlemshawty:

World Population : 7,810,521,683 

just in case somebody start feelin too important

7,810,521,682 and me

image

(Source: highcheekboneshawty)